I realised at age 17 I was gay and as soon as I knew I came out the next day. It was a flash over my entire body, my chemistry changed! I grew up in such a straight society, I had gay and bisexual friends when I lived in Brazil but never understood what it meant. When I had that flash, everything made sense. I ran to school and told everyone, including my boyfriend at the time. It was hard with my family, my mum mostly. She said, ‘’I don’t want you hanging around with those kinds of women." Well mum I am one of those kinds of women so we have a problem here.
In the late 80’s I moved to New York before moving to LA where I had a relationship for over 20 years with a famous women. I had to travel with her as her ‘assistant’ and we had to make up words for I love you. I moved back to New York in 1997 and went to my first gay pride. It was unbelievable! I found my tribe. I lived in a gay world! My whole world was gay, I was in heaven. Then I moved to Guatemala and I directly went straight back into the closet. Well i’ll put it this way, I’m in the closet but the door is wide open, I don’t offer this information to everyone. I have a handful of gay friends that would love to be ‘gay’ but won’t. I had an identity crises where I believed I was not gay anymore.
I never hold hands here, its always indoors. Nobody really knows what to think about it. There are gays everywhere! In the streets, Mayan towns, but nobody talks about it. If men and women felt more free to express themselves it would be easier.